Posts Tagged ‘kindness’

Discrimination

Thursday, February 4th, 2010

I have wealthy friends, I have friends who are doing worse than me. Most of my friends are university graduates, some of them barely finished primary school. I don’t pay too much attention of their attractiveness but some of them ought to be more beautiful than others. Some of my friends speak with a clear, good accent while others have strong eastern accents. You might find the way they speak funny. But I don’t. I make friends with people who are streetwise and resourceful. You might call some other friends of mine “mother’s darling”. Of all these things I have mentioned above; none of them factor in how close a friend is to me. I wouldn’t go so far as to say I don’t care. But they are definitely not determining factors for my friendships. I don’t discriminate people based on their social status, education, appearance, etc.

My relationship doesn’t go very far with somebody who is not a man of his word. My close friends are punctual, reliable and they keep their promises. I don’t hang out with snobs, envious, scornful people. But the most important qualities I look for in a friend is being cultivated and refined and open minded. I am attracted to people who has a spark in their eyes. You know, the opposite of being a zombie. I make very strong distinctions on these matters. Everybody wants to have nice friends. I’m a nazi about it. I’d rather not waste any time on shallow people and their silly affairs.

We live in a society where any and all kinds of discrimination is frowned upon. I call this “but he is a good guy” disorder. That but clearly indicates there is something not good about that guy, he is not all-good. Scrape any negative attribute off of people. Are we all equally honest? Are we all self-sacrificing and understanding? And then that guy is actually a very nice person. Very nice my ass.

Discrimination based on gender or color or whatever superficial feature is bad. Even kindergarden children know that. Not discriminating at all is idiotic at best and bad for the society at worst. You have to make a choice between people, you can’t be intimate with everybody. You better not base your choice on stupid criteria like coolness or popularity or, god forbid, assertiveness. This is the exact same mistake we make choosing our rulers… ehm, I mean political representatives.

This is not just about human beings. We need to pick out the good from bad when we are making spending decisions. I have seen Food, Inc. recently and it talks about this (near the end). Corporations hide behind many layers of obscurity and we don’t easily see how they are doing their business. To compound that we, as individuals, think ourselves as too small to matter against big companies. But the truth is the only thing we can do happens to be a very powerful way to send them a message. If a company is evil, don’t buy its product. You can’t do much else anyway, but this one act should be enough.

So, make a choice. Or not. Choice is yours.

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XING Türkiye Social Media Win

Thursday, November 5th, 2009

I had a small issue with XING recently. I had reported this stupid message sent to an unrelated group. I’ll try to translate a snipplet below:

I have sent XING two messages to cancel my account, I don’t want to be a member.

I would like to take advantage of XING’s unique potential to bring people together, until they cancel my account, to help homeless children and elders.

WTF! This was supposed to be a business related group. If anybody and their aunt will spam all 15k members; thank you, but no, thank you. So I did what any responsible user would do and used the report spam thingy.

Here is what I had hoped to happen; my report is stored somewhere. Other people flags this as well. When a critical number is reached a moderator reviews if the message is really spam and takes the appropriate action.

Here is what happened; an hour later or so I got an e-mail. It said “if you don’t want to receive messages from this person do yak yak yak”. King-size WTF.

  1. First of all I had already done that. He should have checked if I did before writing an e-mail.
  2. More importantly, he should have checked my profile for a second. It says programmer. So, if I’m a programmer I am supposed to know a thing or two about these computer thingies, right? Clicking, double-clicking, expertise on check boxes and stuff. Telling me how to block a user is the same thing as saying “hey muhuk, you’re an idiot”. Even if we suppose there are such morons1, you still don’t have to tell it to their face. If you don’t have anything useful to say, don’t say nothing.

As a result, I got pissed of and sent this tweet:

XING Türkiye Support is clueless. Make sure you know who you’re e-mailing + take a moment to check if your advice has already been applied.

This is not the end of the story though. I received an e-mail from XING Community Manager yesterday. It was a very polite message containing the acknowledgement of both issues2. Nothing out of the ordinary at first sight. But wait, the message mentioned my tweet. In the very beginning. Actually the first word was “Twitter”. And it was concluded with something along the lines of “keep sharing your comments”.

Well, of course my comments and ideas are worthless. Especially since I’m not a very active XING user. But don’t miss the important point here: XING basically, via it’s community representative, says “you tweeted a negative tweet about us, but we are cool with that”. Why is it so important?

  1. They seem to be really cool about that. That means they understand social web. Conventional thinking is “I’d prefer you told this to me directly”, “we could have solved it between you and me”, “why do you shout, you make me look bad”. I have seen supposedly social media aware brands do this. It doesn’t look good. Trying to silence people is a horrible idea.
  2. You can win people easily. Beautiful thing about Internet (and online services in particular) is that no party has too much power over the other. You can’t intimidate someone because she doesn’t like your services and writes about it. On the other hand she can’t do much damage3. So instead of freaking out, try to be nice and convert naysayers to evangelists.

Most of the time complaining customers want to know there is someone who can see things from the right perspective. Someone reasonable, agreeable, fair. Most of the time that’s all that is needed to turn “<your brand> sucks” to “sh*t happens, no big deal”. My perception changed from “clueless” to “hmm, I guess that was a misstep of an individual” to “wow, appereantly XING Türkiye knows social web very well”. And all it took was a simple e-mail4. It’s not that difficult.

Kudos to XING for being a good web2.0 citizen.5


1: I mean programmers who couldn’t figure out how to use a web GUI. People from other professions might not know these and that’s not necessarily their problem.

2: What more could a user/customer hope other than acknowledgement? The message also contained an apology. But, I personally don’t think brands should apologize to their customers. Especially regarding to freemium services.

3: This is true even for big players like TechCrunch.

4: I bet it’s instantiated from a draft, everybody gets more or less the same message. This makes it even cooler though.

5: And special thanks for making me feel like a jerk. Just kidding, feelings are for losers. ;)

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Alain De Botton Talks About A Kinder, Gentler Philosophy Of Success

Friday, September 4th, 2009

Where I live, people judge you largely based on how expensive your cell phone is. It is such a sad fact that your job or how wealthy you are matters even for those who would expect no material favors from you. Not so surprisingly most of those people would speak the opposite of what they are doing.

My reaction to all this vulgarness is that I don’t buy one of those new and expensive phones. I use one until it breaks apart and then get a new one that allows only calling and SMS. Once in a while, rarely, you meet someone who doesn’t care about your accessories.

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